Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Working out with a significant other: yay or nay?

I already have my answer to this question.

Solid NAY.

Not that my marriage is in trouble, tyvm, but in my relationship, this is how things go, unspoken yet decided long ago.

When D and I first met a few years ago, we lived across the street from each other.  I'd come home from work, walk Nugget, run some errands, etc.  He'd come home from work and play Call of Duty.

Then at 6 or so I'd walk over, we'd spend a little time together, then head to the gym followed by a dinner trip to Central Market.  He still talks about Central Market and it might have been a big reason he came to visit me in San Antonio this summer...he's pretty well known in the deli section.

One of the first memorable things boyfriend-level D ever said to me was, "have you ever thought about joining a gym?"  - not the immediate reaction one desires from a romantic partner- but it had its intended effect and I joined D's gym and our daily gym push became a steady part of the relationship.

Mostly because we parted ways at the door.

I wanted a boyfriend with fitness priorities, someone who could be a built in gym-buddy who would encourage me to exercise on days when I'd rather gorge myself on Cheetos-- someone for whom I'd do the same.

I did not want a sweaty dude helping me benchpress a 45# bar.  I don't want him, or anyone, yelling "YOU GOT IT!!!! GET SOME!!!! UP UP UP!!!" and D certainly needn't spend his time at the gym doing that.  First off, I don't like to be scrutinized and I can't fathom the frustration I would feel at him.  His only interest in the sets/reps/weights or miles I run is that he wants me to meet my personal goals.  If I needed help, 100% he would be there.  But I go do my girlie things at the gym and he does his bicep things and we meet up at the end.  Sometimes I meet up with him in the middle if there are too many girls in his vicinity.  Also, by vicinity I mean "entire gym." :)

Shortly after we started dating, D got orders to Korea and left.  I still went to what was our gym, and I liked the memories of our gym time, reminding me he would only be gone a year. It's the same gym I go to now, actually, that we are once again in different time zones.

I don't want to make it sound like my husband is a gym rat, but it's part of the job, and a way we both eliminate stress.  We also eat a lot of ice cream and brownies and take naps and there's a whole lot of Candy Crush that gets played in our house.  And sometimes we even skip the gym, too.  Or go separately.  But in the same vein, if we both want to run at the gym, we do try to get treadmills next to each other and just maybe, maybe, I'm not above reaching over and pressing the "increase speed" button on his :)

Working out separately is just our personality style but also a way to cope.  We've been stationed apart often, so while keeping each other in mind, we do what we must, whether work or gym, and then come together at the end to enjoy each other's company; it's the way we live.  My feeling is that if I relied on D to be side-by-side with me at the gym, I'd be lost in the sauce all the times that we live in different places.

At the same time, I do see couples (successful ones, too, I assume!) at the gym who work-in sets with each other on each piece of equipment.  That works for some, but I'd go crazy.  I don't even like to chit chat at the gym, much less have to cooperate with D.

In other news, I successfully weeded out that pesky Call of Duty habit.  Other video-game widows out there, email me for advice, it can be done!!

What do you think?  Do you work out with your significant other?  Let me know!