Saturday, June 1, 2013

For love of country, to whom it may concern- (expletives)

I love this country.  I have traveled all over the world for both work and pleasure and I can tell you, there are lots of nice places in the world (and some not so nice ones, too) but this country is wonderful and it is mine and I love it.  Dearly.  

So please pull your fucking ear buds out of your American ears when our national anthem is playing.  But since you demonstrated that you will not do this simple task, nor will you turn the music down so I don't have to listen to overtones of Tool* drowning out the Star-Spangled Banner (and you obviously need to get super pumped for a local charity 5K), I suggest you scoot your tush a few blocks south to the border and hand your citizenship over to someone, anyone, because there are a ton of folks on this planet who would die (yes, literally die) for the chance to call the Star-Spangled Banner their own.  I hope your ancestors are rolling in their graves that you are too cool for our national anthem, because at some point they knew that there is nothing cooler than the ability to freely stand and listen to this veneration of our nation and as you should know by now there are a lot of people in this world who can't do this, and a lot of people who hate that we can.  The next time I see you rocking out to your stupid music during the Star-Spangled Banner I will grab your headphones and shove them in the nearest pile of fresh Running Bubblies.  Ok fine, I won't, but I'll want to.  Instead I'll say something to you and then you'll feel like a douche.  Let's not let it come to that, shall we?  Just turn the music down, put your hand on your heart and be thankful.  Too f***ing easy.

*no offense to Tool, it's just what happened to be playing